Sunday, February 27, 2011

Say Your Prayers:
A Satanic Parody of
The 23rd Psalm

From the first grade until the eighth, I attended a series of private schools run by Christians. Two were Catholic, and one was Seventh-Day Adventist. One was simply a Montessori Academy in which my ambidexterity was “corrected” for reasons I now recognize as superstitious. (After all, the left hand is “sinister.”) In the three overtly religious schools, I learned to recite many prayers, psalms, and so forth. Nowadays, I find great pleasure in rewriting one every now and then. When I do, I create syllable-by-syllable parodies, replacing the original theology with Satanic principles. Tonight, I have “Satanized” The 23rd Psalm. Just a little Black Mass before bed-time!

I am My own Master; I shall not want.
I roam and rest and rise and revel freely:
I ride whirlwinds over roaring waters.
I fulfilleth My Will:
I lead Myself in the paths of righteous might for My own sake.

Yea, as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
Beyond good and evil:
The beast within Me,
My brain, and My force—
they strengthen Me.

I prepareth Myself, that I may be quick to ruinate mine enemies;
I indulgeth My mind and flesh; My joys are abundant.

Ample power and increase shall follow Me all the days of My life,
and I will live through My Ego, fulfilled, forever.

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